Dear God, i want her to be happy. The only way for that to happen is for me to let go. I want to let go, but i just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me, why do i love her so much? What happened to me? Why must i care so much? Why is it so difficult to calm down? I know she's no longer and will never be mine again, so why can't i just move on? Or is it that i'm the one who doesn't wanna move on? OhmyAllah, please make me stop. I need to stop loving, i need to stop caring, i need to let go. She'll be so much happier knowing that i've move on, but why can't i do it? It's really frustrating for me, like seriously. My brain says i have to, i need to. But my heart says opposite. I'm messed up. Seriously. Mood swings are happening more to me, i'll put up a frown and i don't know why. I'll be rude and rebellious for no aparent reason, i spend more time outside than my own home, i'm simply changing. I'm just so mad at myself for not being able to let go. The breakup was just so sudden for me, i need time and insyallah i'll move on. Insyallah. Allah, please guide me, please? :(




Mengapakah ini semua harus berlaku padaku?
Adakah ini suatu ujian yang Allah telah beri padaku?
Mengapakah tiada Kepercayaan di antara kita?
Patutkah ku menunggu?


I need to let go, i have to let go.
I need to move on, i have to move on.
I need this heart to heal, if it ever will.

I'm imperfect. i never get things right. I hate being in love at first, till she came around. Now she's gone, and once again my trust for girls got destroyed. Im sick of all this. Anyway, i've never liked studying, hated reading. I know my limits. I tweet a lot, hell lot. This blog is where shit comes out and never gets back in. Byezxc. I hate those who think they're perfect. If you are one, go kill yourself.

Mum and Dad call me Amirul. Yeah that's my name. Im 17 this year, just one more year to go before i take on my motorcycle license xD My O levels are long gone, i did well enough and here I am studying at Temasek Polytechnic, Engineering student. I never thought i'll love again, she gave me hope. Now she's gone, i felt all my hope crumble down. I feel so empty, so lost. Its just too sudden.
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